


Vampires Aren't Always Sexy

by FrogFacey



Series: Garrison's Dream Team [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, I headcanon Pidge swears excessively, M/M, Vampire Hunter AU, Vampire Lance, catch me vauging about the outsiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 23:12:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrogFacey/pseuds/FrogFacey
Summary: Yet, here he was. Crumpled up beside a dumpster like some dumb horror movie protagonist, the gash in his thigh bleeding merrily while he watched whoever it was advance towards him like some dumb horror movie monster.Or, Keith gets attacked by a vampire and the word fuck is used 11 times-part of a series but can be read on its own-





	Vampires Aren't Always Sexy

Keith had to read the Outsiders in middle school for novel study, aside from the fact that he absolutely despised it he also thought that it was totally illogical for anyone to ‘crumple’ when they died.

Yet, here he was. Crumpled up beside a dumpster like some dumb horror movie protagonist, the gash in his thigh bleeding merrily while he watched whoever it was advance towards him like some dumb horror movie monster.

“You’re not scary, Hot Topic.” Keith slurred, trying and failing to focus his eyes on the shadowy figure. 

He was scary.

Keith tried to lift his hand up to flip him off, to at least have a sort of dignified death or maybe so he could say he tried to fight him off if he somehow managed to get out of this. His arm didn’t move. He cursed every god out there.

Finally, _finally_ the shadowy figure was standing in front of him. He crouched down and looked Keith in the eye and Keith felt his soul sink through his buttcheeks.

“You look like… 2005 Myspace…” His speech slurred off before he could finish. He mustered up a glare at his attacker. God, he had the red streaks and everything.

He bared his teeth, which would have been a lot more threatening if Keith’s vision wasn’t blurry as fuck and his goddamn eyeliner wasn’t running down his cheeks.

Instead of biting him then and there, the vampire (Keith noted from the fangs) decided to continue being asshole-ish and dramatic. He stood up again, placing his hands on his hips and cackling. 

Keith had to admit that his laughing was actually kind of creeping him out. Or maybe he was just getting a little loopy from blood loss.

Oh yeah.

He was bleeding.

The vampire was still cackling as he jabbed Keith’s leg with his giant fucking goth boot. Which first of all, rude and second, fucking ow. If Keith could move he would’ve either punched him or grab his bloodied thigh.

Instead he let out a pained whimper.

This made the vampire laugh louder and crouch down again. Keith winced as he grabbed his hair, pulling him up to meet his eyes.

“Pathetic.” Was all he said.

Keith would have scoffed if the reality of it all hadn’t just hit him.

He was going to die. It didn’t matter if his murderer looked like he just crawled out of a Black Veil Brides concert. He was going to bleed out beside a dumpster like some kind of fucking dumb blonde in every single fucking horror movie and the only person around to see was this fucking vampire.

“Keith!”

The vampire let go and Keith’s head fell to the ground with a painful thud. He watched through splotchy vision as the Vampire turned, not yet standing. He held his arm out to shield Keith from whoever was coming. Or more, to shield whoever was coming from seeing what would probably end up happening to them.

Never before was he so happy to see Pidge’s oversized glasses or Hunk’s ridiculous bright yellow shirt. He tried to muster up a smile, but all of his muscles had decided to fall asleep and he was only able to give them a look which he hoped conveyed the same thing.

The vampire lunged. 

Pidge fumbled with grabbing her stake, stumbling backwards when the vampire’s claws just missed her chest. Hunk swung, but his knife only clipped him in the arm, which just made him mad.

The vampire lunged again, fully prepared to grab Hunk by the throat, but one long, annoyingly familier leg caught him by the ankle. He tripped and stumbled and Pidge took that as an opportunity to plunge her stake into his back.

The vampire fell to the ground with an anticlimactic slap. He hadn’t fed in a while, so all that came out was a disappointing dribble of blood

Lance stood up, ready to boast about how smart he was for tripping him over when he finally noticed Keith.

“Shit.” He said, jumping over the body to run over to Keith, “Shit, shit, shit no.”

Keith was glad to see him, even though everything looked more like watercolour now.

Lance crouched next to him, registering everything in turn. He wrapped his arms around Keith’s shoulders, moving him onto his lap rather than the cold concrete.

He cried out as the movement agitated his leg, Lance hurried out an apology.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” Lance said, he was rocking them both, probably more to comfort himself.

Keith opened his mouth to say that he was alright. All that came out was a raspy whisper.

“You can heal him, right?” Hunk asked, crouching next to them, “Just...Lick the wound and he’ll be fine?”

Lance’s hands tightened around his back.

“Fuck!” Pidge yelled, kicking the vampire’s body in anger, “Tell me you can heal him?”

Lance opened his mouth but hesitated, he resorted to shaking his head.

“Fuck!” Another kick, this time aimed at the vampire’s head.

Keith looked back up at Lance, the splotches were getting bigger and the corners were going black. He giggled slightly at Lance’s sudden loss of an eye.

“Get the van?” He asked, and then there was a lot less yellow in Keith’s field of vision.

“You need to put pressure on it.” Pidge said, pulling her jacket off.

Keith yelped as she grabbed his thigh, pushing down on the gash with what he was pretty sure was her entire body weight. Lance pulled him closer and kissed his hair.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He whispered, over and over again. Keith wished he could reassure him in some way, but if he felt tired before, this was an entirely new level. He had to glance to make sure he wasn’t sinking through Lance’s arms because that’s what he felt like was happening.

“Don’t you fucking dare close your eyes.” Pidge pressed down impossibly harder and Lance’s whispering got more frantic.

Keith did not know what she was talking about. He wasn’t closing his eyes at all, everything was just kind of fading away. Less watercolour-y now and more...foggy. Like he was staring into a rainy window.

There came the sound of an engine from...Somewhere. Pidge’s swearing sounded more relieved so Keith guessed it was Hunk.

“I don't think I can carry him.” Someone said, distant and kind of fuzzy. Jeez, Shiro was right about the whole speaking up thing.

Keith just rolled his eyes to himself and happily let his head fall to Lance’s shoulder. Yes the fuck he could carry him, he’d done it before and he was doing it now. Lance was warm, which was weird because Keith wasn’t sure if he’d fed at any point recently.

“Keith.” Someone else mumbled frantically. Was it possible to mumble frantically? 

Keith tried to say something about not being so stressed, but when that failed he was left to just sigh and lay as best he could against Lance’s shoulder. There he was, bleeding out in his best friend’s arms. Just like the fucking Outsiders.

God, his life was a joke.

**Author's Note:**

> This took me two cups of tea, one extremely late night and one cup of coffee to get through.
> 
> That's the fastest I've ever written anything.


End file.
